Saturday, January 5, 2008

6 going on 13

Magnus is in a transition stage right now. Therefore, we, as parents, are also in a transition stage. Since he is our oldest, we are in new territory. Thankfully (praise God!) I have a husband who is very much in tune with our family and provides the leadership needed in such cases as this. He is very intuitive and discerning when it comes to our boys and I value his insights greatly. We work very well together at figuring things out. We, Collin and I, are very different in our approaches and it balances the family nicely.

Magnus has been challenging our authority and talking back a bit the last few weeks. Let me just say that he is a GREAT kid and we rarely have issues with him aside from the "norm". However, this was pretty consistent and weighing heavily on me. It took a significant episode to figure out what the real issue was. My son is growing up and I don't know how to deal with it.

After listening to Magnus explain how he was feeling, we figured out that one of his issues is having to work around the house. To be more specific, he didn't like having to stop what he was doing or put off his plans in order to help out right when he was asked. Understandable. I don't like to be interrupted either. He understands that our family functions as a team and that everyone has their own jobs to do in order for the family to function well. So, we came up with a chore chart for the boys.

It is my responsibility to get their jobs posted by 9:30am and it is their responsibility to have them completed by the time I have posted. That way they have a bit of a choice as to when they do them as long as they are done by the time I stated. If they are not completed by the time stated, then they have to stop whatever they are doing and do their job. This is teaching them time management skills and giving them a sense of responsibility and accomplishment. I also reserve the right to ask for help (and to receive it) for little tasks like setting the table or helping with dinner. I think this is going to work well. The boys are excited about it too.

We have also decided to give Magnus a bit more independence. Just with little things like pouring his own milk, making his own toast, playing chess on the computer, ect.

He may be ready, but I don't know if I am.


LisaWA said...

Excellent idea! Good job to ma and pa for being so discerning too! Your children are very blessed....


my5wolfcubs said...

I have a 13yo dd -- she likes choices, she does not like to be interrupted, she likes me to have her assignments (school/chores/whatever) ready when I say I will... I think you're ahead of the curve! And, no, I'm still not ready for her to grow up. :)